I can't let this weekend go by without acknowledging the anniversary date that has just passed. It was three years ago yesterday that I lost my husband Ron to his glioblastoma brain cancer. There, I said it. And it has taken three years to get to this point. It took a year to stop looking at the clock each day at 5 expecting him to walk through the door. It took the second year to pretend we were doing better because that's what everyone expected from us. It also took that year to submit my line to quilt market, get published in a magazine, learn to work a shopping cart website and write this blog every week. In other words, to chose my new path, one without my love or his support. And this third year has been acceptance. Yes, I am alone, yes, he is really not coming back, yes, I miss him with every fiber of my being and these dates put a big, giant period on those facts, I accept that now.
This anniversary I took a journey back in time, and was able to look through the photo albums and smile through my tears. We made a good life, two beautiful children and shared a love some people go a life time without experiencing. I was so lucky, I would never have said that two years ago. I'm better.
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Road Trip 1988
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We were married at city hall in shorts. So for my 50th birthday we remarried with all of our friends and family from as far away as Austrailia. He was so sick that night, so sick, but he would do anything to make me happy and he knew I would need these memories to get me through what was coming. Three months after this photo was taken he was gone.
When I saw this quilt at the Glendale show it took my breath away, it was him.
Wearing his red Honda ball cap and reaching to pick up our daughter. Of course it wasn't really him but it gives me comfort to think he knows what I've done to keep things together and he's proud of me.
15 comments:
Such a moving post - I had no idea.
Thank you for sharing this, yesterday marked five years since the loss of my eldest son and I miss him every single day.
You are stronger than you know.
Gill I am so sorry, and can not begin to fathom the loss of a child.
Laurel, I am so sorry. Thank you for this beautiful tribute post.
Such a poignant post, thank you for sharing. More importantly for remembering the great love you shared with him as this date pasts by yearly. Bless You. Jane
Oh Laural,
I agree..such a touching post! I'm so happy that you can find comfort from all your wonderful memories and through your two beautiful children. Big Hug!
P
Your touching story brought tears, some sad for your loss, some happy for how far you have come in this new journey of your life. May you continue to be blessed, as he is watching over you and your children.
The vow renewal photo is so beautiful! The look and sparkle in your eyes says it all. If only everyone could hear the love in your voice as you talk about Ron and the way you took care of him and your family every day if your life-with love and grace. You bring so much light and love to all those around you, I am just incredibly dirty for this deep pain you have had to suffer! Love you
Laural, you are a survivor. You can be so proud of all you accomplished these past few years. I know it hasn't been easy but you persevered.
I wish you continued success in your quilting endeavors and peace and happiness in your personal life.
More hugs, Charlotte
Laural, your husband would be so proud of the way you have stepped out of your comfort zone and tried new things. You are a talented and creative person and I wish only the best for you!
Dear Laural, I also had no idea of your painful wonderful love story. Your beautiful kids are his gift to you. I'm sure you see him in their mannerisms and nuances, often wondering where that came from ! Little sparkle presents from your love who is now pain-free and in a glorious state.
Laural....what a strong woman you are...I can't emagine how hard it has been.....what a beautiful tribute....
What a story...live isn't easy for some of us...take care and God bless you!
Hi Laural - I just found your blog from one that I follow. I'm so sorry for what you've gone through. I admire your determination to reinvent your path - your patterns are so pretty, too!
Laural, I can't believe it has been 3 years. Sharing your love for Ron with the rest of us touches our hearts and just shows the love you two shared still grows and will never be forgotten. Your children were blessed in the fact that they lived in a home where true love existed. I am sorry for the loss of your love and their daddy.
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